I thought I would write tonight about the characteristics of a culture of honour.

I believe our Church needs to embrace a culture of honour, but what is that all about?

Scripture teaches us to honour ALL people. Kings 1 Peter 2:19 , Parents Exodus 20:12 , Wives 1 Peter 3:7 , Widows 1 Timothy 5:3 , ALL people 1 Peter 2:17

When we talk about honour, we are talking about giving authority, power, and respect to ALL.  

Some dictionary definitions of honour:

1. To glory in, to promote

2. To elevate the status of another
Jonathan & David are a great example here.  In 1 Samuel 18:1-4 Jonathan elevates David to a status greater than he.  He honours David even though David was yet King.

3. Great respect and Admiration
Hidden in the word admiration is the word "Wonder".  As we look at each other we should wonder what great characteristic of God we can learn.

Often we can limit people in our minds because of what we know of them from their past.  We can put people in a box based on their name or title.  I don't know how many times people have put their nose up at me without even knowing me because they find out I am a "Senior Pastor"

Empowerment becomes a key component to a culture which honours God and one another.  Everyone is powerful.  We should honour them by promoting, elevating, respecting, and admiring them.

But this becomes hard especially if we have we have been burnt by someone or something in the past or even if we disagree with something they say or do.  These are the places of a test of honour.

The thing that limits our honour the most is our belief system about what makes us powerful in relationships. We tend to acknowledge people according to how much control we think we have in the relationship.  "If you've done things that I would have done, I value you", "If you remind me of me, I can really respect that about a person."  "I so value the me in you!"  But when we don't see any of the "me" in "them", that is where we can struggle with a culture of honour.  For a lot of churches we only honour those who remind us of ourselves.  The more we see of "me" the easier it is to go to them and confront them.  It becomes about control.  

If we don't see eye-to-eye or we are offended then we tend to reach for our "power", and that power is dishonour, anger, gossip, suffering, and fear.  If you think of our children as an example.  Ever found yourself saying this, "One, Two, don't let me get to three young man!"  We introduce violence, or the very least the illusion of violence.  What happens when someone, who we expect to be able to control, doesn't let us?  Ultimately we introduce fear.  And there begins a thought pattern.  I can introduce fear to obtain control.  And so begins the value of dishonour and abuse of power.  I have power, and you have none.

As adults we find that we can't go around threatoning people and making them fear us, though I know people who threaten all sorts of things in Churches, "If you don't change this, I'm taking my family (and my tithe) and leaving!. No, we tend to ignore the issue, or simply disappear.  "I will wield my power and just leave.  You'll work out then that I wasn't happy!" There is no honour in that.  We can easily fall into the trap of talking behind the back of others or letting the issue fester and grow within us and just leaving.

BUT, there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18 ) so how do we clean up the mess that is potentially created through giving power to others?  

Partnered with empowerment in a culture of honour is confrontation; kingdom confrontation.

Kingdom confrontation...

• has trust
  There has to be truth exchanged.  We must trust that some truth will be revealed through this confrontation
• exerts self control
  my job is to manage me!  To be on top of the issue and allow them to control themselves while I control myself.
• asks great questions
  leave our lectures and our soapboxes at home when we confront someone.  I don't have all the answers, I just have the questions.  We must empower continually and give the person we have the issue with the opportunity to sort it out themselves.  When we ask good questions it will assist us to discover teh solution to the problem.  What's the problem?  What's going on to get you to this?  Who's been affected by this problem?  What are we going to do?

So if we are going to take on a culture of honour we must be prepared to release people and give them authority, responsibility, and opportunity according to the giftings they have.  But in the same breath, we must take on the responsibility of "kingdom confrontation" where truth is revealed, we have self-control, and ask great questions.  Even in that confrontation we will exhibit honour and respect.